| ...now i aint sayin she a golddigga, but she aint messin wit no broke nigga... |
[30 Aug 2005|04:55pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 grrr i want to do something |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
nothing at the moment |
] |
dear kayne west,
maggie loves you. ♥
♥ maggie
aside from that, i'm totally bored. nothing to do. i havent even gotten ready to go out...as if there's somewhere to go. sigh. this is annoying. i want to go out!!! do something...le sigh. i need food too...i'm hungry.
i miss too many people at this point
some more then others
i'm not enjoying this empty feeling
ugh
i need a new book to read...any suggestions?
♥ your best kept secret
|
|
| ...cos you smell like apple candy... |
[29 Aug 2005|10:18pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 aw shucks...i need a hug |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
ben lee - ache for you |
] |
dear ben lee,
i ♥ you ever so much. you're amazing
♥ maggie
on another note...i hung out with cheri today
went to the mall
almost burst into tears in aero
comfort ate taco bell "did you just shove that whole burrito in your mouth?"
didn't find a single thing i wanted to buy becos NO ONE knows what the fuck they are doing in the world of fashion these days...fuck your bum-dumpster-diving-i-got-dressed-without-the-lights-on- look...it's stupid and distasteful and lame...stop it...you all look like little girls who don't know how to dress..
came to the conclusion that i'm very unhappy single
hugged cheri really tight cos i dont want her to go
the past few days have been very much like a rollercoaster
i dont like it
i can only hope things will fall into place soon
at this point i kind of just want to get under my comfy blankets
fall asleep to aqua teen cos it makes me soooo happy
and not to quote green day but...."wake me up, when september ends"
|
|
| ...you keep on runnin... |
[28 Aug 2005|06:35pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 i want to cuddle... |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
rilo kiley - portions for foxes |
] |
i absolutely adore...more then ice cream...CATPOWER!! she's amazing. i wish i could sing and play piano. god, i think the ability to play is amazing. piano is so beautiful, so delicate..it's fantastic.
sigh...but alas..i am only an artist...i see things and i put them down and thats it. i guess...part of me takes that talent for granted...it just doesn't seem...like a big deal anymore. not that i want the entire world to look at what i do...but then again..yes..i do! i want the whole world to see what i'm capable of creating. and i dunno. it just hasnt happened in so long. eh. i figure soon. quite soon.
everyone's going their seperate ways...and i'm left with...well...just an empty feeling inside and i don't like it one bit.
someone tried to get intouch with me recently...and it turns out they wanted just one thing and that hurts...so much. if people only knew how much it hurts to use someone...they wouldn't do it. it's a fucked up thing to do to someone.
i want someone to come over tonite and cuddle with me, eat ice cream and watch the vma's...mickey!! come over!! you're my boyfriend!! you said you'd treat me right!! lmao. hahahahaha
|
|
| ...what do you do when your foundation falls apart... |
[26 Aug 2005|12:06pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
aw shucks.. |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
tv |
] |
...i dunno, they never taught you that in school...
yeah..i'm going to miss my friends alot.
it super duper sucks.
katie's left already and i miss her to pieces.
kyle leaves saturday. and i will prolly cry.
cheri leaves tuesday. i'll prolly cry again.
so, i'm left with...a few good kids and a whole month to work and piss away.
classes don't start til oct...god i want them to get here now!
i want a boyfriend...not cos i'm tired of being single just because i'd like someone in my life, to spend time with and all that jazz...
i dyed my hair "intense auburn" whatever that means. it's sort red. i like it.
i miss graz. i haven't seen him in a while. show this sunday...anyone want to go with?
sigh...i finally did my laundry and if i'm not too tired from the show tonight i'll clean my room.
i think if i keep my mind on other things, positive things, i'll be okay considering the circumstances.
this is addressed to the following people...y'all need to hang with me!!.. :
- deanna
- johnny v
- anna banana
- j. wald aka my lover
- gabby so sassy lol
- my sister...lol
- z.fred
- glenn
- robyn
- mickey
- giana
- and anyone i forgot...call me...and let me know..
time to go fold clothes. call me if you want to do something within the next 2 hrs. ♥
|
|
| ...your words could bring fucking walls down... |
[24 Aug 2005|07:09pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 i cant stand you |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
nothing... |
] |
"i wish you'd just pack your shit and leave..."
thanks for the info. thanks for the okay. thanks for throwing it all away. and maybe it was my fault. maybe i am easy. maybe i am a slut...well to you at least. yeah, maybe i have no friends. and maybe i'm your burden. and it could be quite possible that i will recieve serious karma for everything i've "done" to you. and it's probably true that i'm selfish. but i'm not sorry. it's entirely true that i'm a bitch...that i'm a terrible person. it's also entirely true that you over-dramatize EVERYTHING! you think of yourself before anyone because you "sacraficed so much"...yeah for nothing...right? if i'm selfish it's cos i learned from the best. what hurts most is that...you can find it in your heart and find the strength to say such hurtful things knowing exactly what they'll do to me...yet...i couldn't do that to you and live with myself. i can't sit here and tell you that i'd rather not have you in my life...not dead, just not here...and be okay. but you can. so obviously that says something about your idea of "love"...and the amount you have for me is so small...i'm surprised you can even see it.
why did i stay here for you? why? i did what i said i wouldn't. i said i'd never sacrafice my happiness for anyone...and then i went ahead and did it...and becos i need to break out..becos i don't choose to live my life a certain way...and need a break here and there...it's a problem...and now you want me gone?!?! well fine. i'll leave...in a few months...i'll be gone. you're not worth the sacrafice...becos obviously i wasn't either. remember who took you to the hospital...who didnt just let you die...who's helped you anytime you needed the cash...who's been your fucking anchor...who's loved you through all the punches, bruises, hurtful words, neglect, and flat out bullshit...it was me. but now you dont want me anymore...fine. i'll leave.
sometimes i'd kill for one good reason not to. then i think oh yeah...cos i can paint and write and read and speak and love and be beautiful and have potential and a life and everything you could've had but gave up for a fucking man...for a free ticket outta hell...fuck you
|
|
| ...this is why i love old friends... |
[21 Aug 2005|08:48pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 ambivalent |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
nothing...pimp my ride's on tv |
] |
Artistic larynx: oh yea
Artistic larynx: jersey's ridiculous
[z.fred]: you wont be here much longer
Artistic larynx: i know
Artistic larynx: sigh
[z.fred]: this was the point last summer for me when i started smoking a lot of pot
Artistic larynx: yeah?
Artistic larynx: i can def. see why. sigh
Artistic larynx: at this point..like...this summer was suppose to be the best summer ever...with parties and gettin drunk and being crazy...none of which happened...i mean it did just not to the extent that would've made me feel fulfilled
Artistic larynx: it feels more like a waste with points that make me smile but its not an experience i can look back on and say that was worth it...
[z.fred]: The thing is, you cant worry about being fulfilled before somthing happens cause it will never meet your expectations
Artistic larynx: thats very true
[z.fred]: I know
[z.fred]: I didnt last summer though
[z.fred]: You cant make your life somthing that its not, it will only be what it is.
[z.fred]: If that makes sense
[z.fred]: but you can make it as good as possible by taking everychance you get to do somthing with it.
Artistic larynx: i'm starting to see that now...i'm def. the type of person who isnt satisfied for long and always has expectations...which i'm trying to change becos otherwise i'll never be happy
Artistic larynx: yeah
[z.fred]: dont try to change it though
[z.fred]: You wont be happy
[z.fred]: cause then you wont be who you are.
[z.fred]: I dunno, ive thought about this stuff a lot
Artistic larynx: then how can i be happy?
Artistic larynx: lol
[z.fred]: Im workin that one out.
[z.fred]: Ill let ya know.
[z.fred]: haha
Artistic larynx: it feels almost impossible...but i know its not cos ive had extremely happy moments in my life
Artistic larynx: being who i am
Artistic larynx: hard to please and keep pleased
Artistic larynx: ive experienced it just dont know how to hold on to it..and maybe thats it...maybe i try to hold to it..instead of living life without chasing happiness
Artistic larynx: its always a step ahead and once i stop...thats when it sneaks up on me and then takes off again
[z.fred]: i think our main problem as kids is, we dont think we should stay the way we are, we think we should grow up, then once we DO grow up we wanna be kids again, but cant cause we spent all that time getting old.
Artistic larynx: yeah
Artistic larynx: that makes alot of sense
Artistic larynx: its hard to try and enjoy what you have tho
Artistic larynx: cos i think as kids we always want more
Artistic larynx: just as people in general
Artistic larynx: we always want more
[z.fred]: yea.
[z.fred]: To a point life is self control
Artistic larynx: what do u mean?
[z.fred]: things you want and work to get
[z.fred]: things you want and can never get
[z.fred]: Things youd like to do but cant
[z.fred]: things you always do
[z.fred]: And not getting mad, sad, or depressed when nothing happens
Artistic larynx: i think as you grow older it gets easier to realize that
[z.fred]: you always want things
Artistic larynx: yeah thats true
Artistic larynx: i think tho..like..i dont want to call it disappointment but just like u said not getting upset when nothing happens...i think as u get older its easier to handle
Artistic larynx: i dunno..right now...i'm just lonely...i'm trying to like convince myself that i'll be okay...that i dont need people all the time and that some time alone..well...not entirely alone just...not so surrounded would be good for me
[z.fred]: It wont.
[z.fred]: but hey
Artistic larynx: ok thanks lol
Artistic larynx: yea i dont believe it would
Artistic larynx: im no good alone
Artistic larynx: i dont think anyone really is
yea...tonite's unpredictable...sort of like me...
|
|
| ...i want to skate.... |
[20 Aug 2005|07:45pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
anticipating some sparks |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
tv |
] |
last night was def. something i didnt expect.
but i had the best time. really. tons of props to the those who were involved in the shananagans!!! lol
special thanks to miss. katie hewko... for the compassion, the reassurance, the love and talking to me at 3:30 almost 4 in the morning...i apperciate it hunny. that was alot of good advice that i will def. use. gracias.
i saw bunny and dr.chocolate today in the bank. the doctor is looking wondefully chipper and cute.
yeah kids...thats about it...
i miss the following :
- katie-hardcore-hewko
- kyle-fucking-benson
- cheri-motherfucking-stevens
- graz
- miss deanna!!! (call me so we can get krunk)
- anna banana
- zach fred
the list is endless...i need to call these people...and hang/party.
...i am selfish, i am wrong...
|
|
| ...i got soul, but i'm not a solider... |
[15 Aug 2005|11:12pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 i heart him |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
the killers - change your mind |
] |
ignore the pervious entry.
stupid people who try to justify their tardiness irritate me...i've moved on and out and i'm happy so fuck off if you can't at least try to be happy for me...
hightlights of the past few days :
+ spending tons of time with graz
+ going to the city
+ rita's water ice
+ super soft kisses
+ short hair!!!
+ loving my new hair cut!!!
+ new hat..it's totally hot!
+ trying to quit smoking!
+ praying and feeling incredible faith, big props to my homeboy God! lol
+ excited for school, i walked past it the other day with graz
+ being a bum for the past few days
+ crying out of pure joy
+ cuddleing with the best boy ever
+ making a beautiful elliot smith inspired piece for a beautiful boy
+ being entirely too happy for my own good and loving it
life is good lately...aside for a few bumps here and there...i can't let the little things bring me down...i'm better then that...hopefully i'll be seeing him later..we'll see.
btw, who wants to go to a show with me in philly aug. 28th?!?! it's at the troc balcony, starts at 6, 7 dollars to get in...the boy's band is playing...it should be wonderful...if not i'll be going alone and thats not cool kids! lol...lemme know boys and girls...
|
|
| ...it feels like you went behind my back... |
[15 Aug 2005|04:11pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 fuck you |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
cat power - evolution |
] |
white oleander taught me two things about myself :
"...don't attach yourself to the first person who will show you the least bit of attention.."
and
"..stay away from broken people.."
both apply to me...i attach easily and i'm broken.
two people managed to tell me off in one day? how does that work out exactly, you ask? well...do something for yourself, make yourself happy and the army around you will send in it's men.
honestly, after last night, i don't have the energy to care about how someone else feels who hurt me in the past...i'm sorry. i think that qualifies me as a bad seed. yea...but i grow some beautiful flowers...
...i think i may just write something...
|
|
| ...turn out the lights, set yourself on fire, say goodnight... |
[14 Aug 2005|05:58pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 he's stolen my heart... |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
catpower - good woman |
] |
i've met a man.
he's amazing.
he drives me fantastically insane.
i adore him.
we have the best time together.
he makes me smile like no other.
things have been interesting lately.
i've got so much hope tho...so much hope.
things will finally improve.
i dont know where this sudden hope has come from but its here and i cant ignore it nor would i want to.
i feel melancholy...that sad sort of happiness...i think its all the catpower tho..
last nite...i cried for the first time out of pure joy...
...and i'll love this love forever...
|
|
| ...andy, you're a star, in nobody's eyes but mine... |
[09 Aug 2005|07:25am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 i haven't slept right in days |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
the killers - midnight show |
] |
i hate that everyone since has been a replacement.
one in particular was a wonderful candidate but it turned out that we obviously weren't on the same page.
it's been more then 2 months...going on something like 3...so is it that i'm not pass it or that i'm just curious to see if it's failed?? i'm not sure. maybe i'm just curious to see what's going on...
my heart changes everyday...my emotions are more random then a bag of m&m's...and my mind's just along for the ride i swear it. yesterday i felt one way, today another, tomorrow who knows?!? maybe if something wonderful, truly wonderful, comes along then i won't have this problem anymore...
i could use a good long cuddle...which leads to sleep...which leads to waking up and kisses...and then foooooooddd!! lmao...
oh well...i got mavi jeans and hot flat heels yesterday...i'm the fucking shit! philly watch out...here comes maggie ♥
|
|
| ...laughs, realizations, and speeding... |
[06 Aug 2005|01:31am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 my love for k.b is eturnal ha! |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
tv |
] |
tonite i saw "dukes of hazzard" and after veiwing that kind of film...you can't help but want to speed..so we did. it was fun. i hit my head on something in kyle's car and it still kinda hurts...worth it tho.
went to the diner. ate food. smoked cigarettes. saw people from school. and it hit me, come september...all my friends will be gone...and when i come out to eat or i'm at the mall...the people who are still here (like myself) i'll run into and say our hellos and goodbyes and we need to hangout-s...and that kinda sucks. cos it feels like you're bullshitting everyone with those comments. so just dont bother. but part of you really means it and that's why you say it.
i also realized that i need to quit smoking...yet know i wont. i've been coughing up alot of mucus lately (t.m.i) sorry...and coughing alot in general..having to clear my thoart more often then normal and i dont like it but i love smoking..so fuck it. also..i really...honestly...want to eat better and start doing some sort of excercise on a weekly basis. yea, i dont need to lose weight. but i just feel gross lately. not due to my weight just due to what i'm eating. i eat fastfood and junk allllllll the time and it's just gotten to the point where it's disgusting. so i'm gonna try and cut back. i also don't want to drink soda anymore...i wasn't for quit sometime...and then i started to again and it's gross...except for the occassional diner cherry coke cos they're incredible.
a friend of mine asked me if i was on speed tonight...i thought that was odd...do i always sound that hyped up??
speaking of hyped...anyone going to warped tour and at this point is it even worht buying a ticket to??....no...i didn't think so...strike that..delete it
i need to do laundry and clean...i'm gross...what the hell's going on with me..
...someone make me afraid of what i've become...
...time for some mewithoutyou...
|
|
| ...maggie wants to meet a boy who will take her breathe away... |
[03 Aug 2005|06:43pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 you're a liar... |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
love and war (11/11/46) - rilo kiley |
] |
it seems that the person i'd like to meet doesn't exsist and if he does...he's no where to be found...grggrrrr...lol...that's okay i suppose...hehe
i love rilo kiley...it's so cute...and makes me smile...
but here's a run down of whats been going on :
MONDAY
+ went to philly
+ saw jamie
+ walked from 8th and Market to 16th and South and everywhere in between being stupid and flirty and fun
+ ate at tattooed mom's
+ walked all of south street trying to find a cool hat
+ pig tails and buy one get one arizona iced tea!
+ chain smoking
+ talking
+ exchanging of sweet little kisses
- the sweltering heat!
+ starbucks!
- a nice A/C bus ride home
+ passing out the second i got in the door
THE EVENING
+ hung out with miss. hewko and the wonderful mickey zink
+ empire records
+ comparing friends to characters in the film
+ wendys
+ dr. chocolate
+ listening to rap music...and a rather dirty and obscene rap song...ahhaha
+ katie hitting me in the face with a pillow totally off guard!
+ "..patty..."
+ good times and tons of laughs
+ so many inside jokes that we can't keep track of them all
TUESDAY
+ work...
TODAY
- work at 8:45 am..
+ red lobster for lunch
- boredom that could kill
- an agrivating state of confusion caused by a boy...fuck
ALL IS FAIR IN LOVE AND WE'RE IN LOVE
NOW THAT EVERYBODY'S DEAD CAN WE FINALLY TALK
CAN VANITY AND HAPPINESS COEXSIST?
ALL THE LOVERS WE'VE TAKEN IN DIRECT VEIW OF THE ENEMY
WE SHIFT EACH OTHER'S BODY TO ACCEPT THE BULLET
AND CONTINUE THE PLEASURE T'S THE TRASURE OF BATTLE
IT'S ONLY FOR THE WOUNDED PURPLE HEARTED
WHY MUST YOU TRY TO RUIN MY PEACE OF MIND?
THEY WERE ONLY WORDS AND I NEVER MEATN THEM
I NEVER LOVED YOU EVEN IN MY WEAKNESS
YOU WERE FUEL FOR THE FIRE, CANNON FODDER
WHEN MY GRANDFATHER DRANK, FELL AND BROKE HIS FACE IN TWO
WHEN THE COPS ARRIVED BE EXCLAIMED I FAUGHT IN WORLD WAR TWO
AND THEY CARRIED HIM TO A DARKENED HOSPITAL ROOM
AND SAID NO MODERN PERSON HERE REMEMBERS YOU
AND WE CAN'T IDENTIFY THE ENEMY AND IT COULD BE YOU SO IT WILL COST YOU
IT ALREADY COAST ME MY WIDE AND MY JOB NOW WHAT?
WHEN MY MOM AND I WENT TO IDENTIFY THE BODY
I WANTED TO SEE IT BUT SHE WOULDN'T LET ME
I HAD TO WAIT FOR THE MILITARY CEMENTERY
AND WHEN WE GOT THERE THIS IS WHAT SHE SAID TO ME
LOVE AND WAST IN HEAVE AND IN HELL
YOU GET WHAT YOU DESERVE YOU BETTER SPEND IT WELL
ALL IS FAIR IN LOVE AND WAR AND LOVE
A CIVIL WAR LIKE THIS IT ALWAYS SELLS ITSELF...
thank god for rilo kiley...lol
|
|
| ...AND NAPKINS! TONS!.... |
[01 Aug 2005|12:13am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 im about to pass out... |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
wishing i had the new ben lee cd |
] |
today was...
+ finishing wine by 4:30
+ finding out that boscov's has a terrible sunglasses selection
+ finding out that no one carries cool sunglasses...anywhere
+ losing glenn
+ sing-a-longs in the van
+ shot gun! blitz!
+ vitamin water
+ seeing an old friend
+ "you have pretty eyes"
+ i like your tattoos
+ back seat riding
+ driving with no destination what-so-ever
+ wanting to play tag
+ finding out harvest cheese fries arent bad
+ holding hands
+ harsh jokes...
+ "...can i get some more of this..and NAPKINS! TONS!.."
+ laughing forever over really assine(sp?) things
+ seeing old friends and feeling awkward
+ out all day doing nothing
+ watching musicians play and enjoying it
+ exchanging numbers
+ recieveing a call when i was told i would
+ realizing that it's pointless to wait for him...
+ boys driving and playing a tuba on rt.38
+ yelling at kids and watching them ride away
+ laughing and wandering what it means to "bronco"
+ there is really NOTHING to do in jersey
+ wishing the night would never end...
z.fred + glenn + tucker = a good time def. to be remembered...lol...
p.s. dear kyle benson, you never called me after u got done work...but im not sure if i was suppose to call you...so i forgive you. lol. we need to hang out soon tho. ♥ cos i love you ♥
...she drank beer with coca-cola, and that's the way i like it...
|
|
| ...we could buy a cottage by the ocean... |
[30 Jul 2005|10:26pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
run away with me.. |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
blood brothers - crimes |
] |
the day just went down hill...
why is it that people have to keep going and going and going until they can't see straight, until they aren't even making coherent sentences, until they're stumbling, until they're a fucking mess...why?
i feel like tonight's my fault...and i'm scared something might happen...things may get ugly...fuck sleeping...looks like i'm gonna be up for a while...
..honestly, i want to be held...really...by someone who finds a serious interest in me...i like being single...i like the freedom, not having to worry...but i miss having a realtionship...i miss having someone there...
...tonight...i'm lonely...i dont want to sleep and if i do i dont want to do it alone...
...if i could rewind...to about 5-6 months ago...i'd do it in a heart beat...and i'd do everything differently..i'd do it right...
...rob a store in a ghetto, like camden, with me and we'll take the money and go as far as possible...just for tonight...fuck!
...we're just like those condom wrappers...
|
|
| ...jack is a punk, judy's a runt... |
[30 Jul 2005|07:19pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 gettin a lil tipsy... |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
these days - nico |
] |
today was okay.
work til 3...banking must be difficult for some...believe me...it is
home and chilled out with the mom and the kids...watched tv...
went out and got a bottle a wine for meeeeeee...1999..red..pretty good for under 10 bucks...
banana-nut muffins rock my socks...
i want to dance...ha!
talked to miss.deanna earlier...we're gonna try and hang tuesday night-ish....should be a good time ^.^ have fun on your trip hunny!
watched basquiat and now i want to paint...hense the wine...we'll see what happens...i'm feeling a little abstract due to that movie...so we'll see what i come up with...
the song i'm listening to right now (these days-nico) reminds me of a time me and lloyd went to i think the copper river park, and it was starting to rain...and we cuddled in his back seat...one of the few good times i ever spent with him...well...that i can remember...and i'm okay with that...funny how getting over things makes looking back on them alot easier...
...i had a lover, i don't think i'd risk another these days...
|
|
| ...i love the smell of the rain... |
[27 Jul 2005|07:28pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 i'm melting... |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
team sleep - our ride to the rectory |
] |
i just got back in from lying on my trampalene as it started to thunder and lightening and rain and it felt damn good...considering my AC is broken and i've been melting as i watch The Independent Film channel alllll day...that and sleep...
i've grown to like the rain lately...its just so nice...i remembered the last time i was caught in the rain...down pour on south street..well..chesnut--->south st...and my hair got messed up and she kissed me and i got sandals and a shirt to change into and i took my wet shirt off at that cheap teeshirt store in like a dark corner and changed into a dry one lmao..
"...Do you ever feel like you're floating? Like you're not connected to anything or anyone. I feel like I could vanish and no one would notice for like 2 weeks..."
Clockwatchers is a great movie...thank you IFC lol...this is like the 3rd time i've seen this film tho..
i want to cuddle...that'd be nice...
|
|
| ...so, you won't remember me anyway... |
[26 Jul 2005|09:48pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 meh |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
team sleep - ever (forgein flag) |
] |
a few quotes i picked up over the past few days...
"...i'm all chinky-eyed and shit.."
"...wait i just feel into your car!!..."
"...why is she talking to me??..."
"...i saw a dancing ice cream!!!!..."
"...i don't feel good..."
"...i'm so sorry baby..."
"...you be a ken-tlemen!!..."
"...i miss you <3..."
"...fuck you mc-chicken!..you think you're better then me.."
"...i love you josh.."
"...ugh my hair's gross..."
"...*as she dances to the music* what the hell are you doing?!?!..."
"...i hate cigarette prices in new jersey..."
"...you're so emo..."
"...i eat my emotions!.."
you need more...yea i know...( come on in and see, i promise not to disappoint.. )
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| ...in 1969 i killed a man of mine... |
[26 Jul 2005|11:41am] |
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mood |
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aw shucks.. |
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music |
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team sleep - elizabeth |
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i'm addicted to Team Sleep...what else is new?
this morning i woke up...got online...checked on my mouse and she wouldn't even come to me or my mom...she's sick and dying...so we've gotta put her to sleep...it's prolly one of the most heartbreaking things i've ever had to do or see...i don't feel bad as much as i feel helpless...ya know? yea it's just a mouse and yea animals die...but she was my mouse..she was my little baby..and now...well..i gotta let her go. it's heartbreaking. sad maggie. i cried already...and now my stomach hurts...i might puke..i'm not sure...
...i haven't felt well for the past few days...like and on and off sickness...weird...i got sick last night and felt awful before i went to bed...woke up feeling like crap as well...and now i just feel worse after having to see her in such bad shape...i hate feeling helpless...sometimes it's just a really bad reminder that i'm only human and i can't fix everything....
i've been listening to Tomb of Liegia by Team Sleep nonstop since i got the cd...it's an addictive song...me and cheri both agree that we love it...so we listened to it like addicts all night last night...
i miss being held. just having someone hold me without expecting anything or wanting anything...just wanting to hold me...i want to be held without having to ask for it...who wants to hold the maggie?!?!!? lmao...i know who i want to hold me...that'll just have to wait a couple of days tho...
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| ...i've got this urge to pick up and leave... |
[26 Jul 2005|12:18am] |
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mood |
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 trust kills me |
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music |
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rilo kiley - a man/me/then jim |
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so today was fantastic...absolutely devine...hehe.
+ hung out with cheri for a bit
+ got the new rilo kiley and team sleep cds
+ jumped on my trampalene with joshy-poo, cheri, my brother, the baby
+ took scene pictures in the killer heat...
+ plans with him got fucked up..but we've made new ones for the weekend...
+ went to prince diner with cheri...it's our new place...none of you are aloud!...lol. it's way better then dynasty..lol
+ met two new kids...who were adorable...
+ got told that my name was cute...does that count as getting hit on??
+ endulged in my new cds
+ sent silly texts back and forth for the past few hours..
+ feel the urge to climb outta my window to see him...ahahaha i'm ridiculous...
+ my hair is hotness squared!
pictures to come..once photobucket doesnt suck! lol.
i'm beat...and would enjoy a good cuddle...
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cut_my_ribbon's journal